so

I don't think I'll be posting here anymore.

drug induced?

One of the strangest videos I have ever seen...

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enough with the emotions already

I don't really know much of anything anymore. Everything that I think about is two sided and I always agree with both sides. I feel like the Sandra Day O'Connor of my own head. Is that exaggeration? It could be, but in every situation that merits importance, it is true. 

I could be a whiny little bitch and say its because my parents say mean ass shit about each other and I believe both sides. Or... I could be a man and say its because I'm a wishy-washy fucking teenager who doesn't know what he wants. Either way, I don't know what I want.

short and not so sweet

I've felt like an asshole before, but this probably takes the cake.

Sorry for the short posts, haven't felt like writing much beyond the basic feelings lately.

Sudden onset depression is not much fun. I think I just need to get out of this town. Part of me understands the depression completely, and another part is utterly confused by it.

Writer's Block Schmiter's Block

So my New Year's was actually pretty good. Got drunk with my aunt and uncle (don't tell my mama) and partied with some Los Angeles upperclassmen and some Scandinavian economists. Far out man. Anyway, the real reason I'm here:

The sunshine fades in the distance

Treetops point to San Francisco

The darkness suits your demeanor

You know someone's watching you, but you know that it isn't God

You use your atlas and your compass

You say we all need some direction

Well I've heard we're all slowly dying

And what's the point in even fighting if it all turns out the same?

Well I don't know

So please don't ask

Anything of me

Anything at all

My sister lives in New York City

I hear you can't see the stars

The night sky is my religion

We all feel so substantial, but we really are so small

And I'm not fond of Isaac Newton

He explained it all too well

And if I'm drawn to the center of the Earth

Than what's it gonna take if I ever want to leave?

Well I don't know

So please don't ask

Anything of me

Anything at all

Bad Weather in My Temporary Head

Well here I am on New Year's Eve writing a blog post. Not exactly what I'd like to be doing. I'm in LA visiting my aunt and uncle, who I like a lot, but what I really do not like is being semi-forced into Hollywood socialite gatherings. I don't even like hanging out with more than 5 friends at a time, let alone complete strangers.

Let me just put it this way. I wasn't in the Bay Area for last New Year's either. Actually, I don't remember last New Year's at all, but I know it was sober and friendless. The last New Year's Eve I had for myself was sophomore year. I remember exactly what I did (for the most part) and I was NOT sober. How weird is that? Can't remember a sober night a year ago, but I remember a non-sober one two years ago. Whatever. I guess I just feel lonely. Or maybe I'm being deprived of my last fucking vacation in high school. I guess I won't care in the long run, but right now it fucking sucks.

I don't want to be writing this. And you shouldn't be reading this. Go jack off.