I definitely shouldn't be.

or

Maybe I should be.

What the fuck...

I am so fucking aggravated that I'm going to go insane. It is so fucking late and I've never pulled an all-nighter for no reason. Maybe the reason is that I am upset with some people when I shouldn't be.

5:00 am

It's only 5:00 am. It's not that late. The question is: am I going to sleep anytime during the rest of the morning? I doubt it. I'm tired, but I can't sleep. I'm hungry but I can't eat. Lies are eating me. Naiveness is killing me. Sometimes I wonder why people see the world the way they want to, and not realize that it is never that way.

I wonder if I could take a bath at this hour and get away with it. Maybe... I think I'll try in a few minutes. I'm awfully parched. A bath would provide all the water I need... but I don't want to fall asleep in it. I wonder if I could sleep there. I don't think I could sleep in my bed. But I finally disconnected the cunt with the final straw. Drunk driving was only mildly involved. Emotional bitches are the most annoying of all... Maybe if you're going to use them, you should have someone else do the talking instead.

Maybe I'm being crude. But that is about how I feel. Maybe I should just shut up.

hope

Meriam-Webster defines "hope" as "a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen." They're pretty fucking wrong on that one. Hope is "the strong desire for something to occur, despite even odds that it will or will not." At least that's what I feel hope is. Hope is even in the face of unequal odds, not in your favor. Does it matter? No.

I have hope that my life will be the way it was. But it won't. When life changes it's never the same again. That's the way it is, unfortunately... I'm  not really in the state of mind to analyze shit, but I can see that much.

Rose is a Rose is a Rose

The biggest mistake thus far in my young life has finally come round to bite me in the ass so hard that I've created this relaxingly sad song. I don't think the title is the final title:

Rose, there's a place for us I know

Through the flowers past the trees

In a garden grove

Rose, all you gotta do

Is look into my eyes

And realize I love you

And we'll be fine

As long as you're here with me

Rose, please don't turn away

There's nothing there to see

Except a single lonely grave

Instead, turn to me and say

The words I've been hearing now

Every single day

Even if they're empty

They mean so much to me

what humanity?

Humans? All humans are just animals with bigger brains.

I really don't have much else to say. My animal instincts are kicking in and I'm hungry.